BACK TO THE EXCHANGESIMP ECONOMY EXCHANGE

Terms of Service

Last updated: June 27, 2026

Simp Economy Exchange is a product of Crisis Logic, LLC, a Virginia limited liability company. These Terms govern your use of Simp Economy Exchange (the "Service"). By accessing or using the Service, subscribing to Pro, or purchasing a sponsorship, you agree to these Terms. If you do not agree, do not use the Service.

1. Satire & entertainment — read this first

Simp Economy Exchange is a work of satire and parody presented as a mock "financial terminal." The markets, tickers, "economies," prices, indices, AI "analysts," and "broadcasts" are fictional and for entertainment only. Dollar figures are loose approximations inspired by public data and are not real securities, exchanges, quotes, or offerings. Nothing here is a real market or tradable instrument.

2. No financial, investment, or other professional advice

Nothing on the Service is financial, investment, legal, tax, relationship, or other professional advice, and no fiduciary or advisory relationship is created. Do not make any decision based on the Service. Always consult a qualified professional.

3. Eligibility

You must be at least 18 to purchase a subscription or advertising. You are responsible for keeping your access email accurate.

4. Pro subscription

  • Billing: Pro is a recurring subscription billed monthly through Stripe at the price shown at checkout (currently $7.99/month), plus any applicable taxes.
  • Auto-renewal: your subscription automatically renews each month until you cancel.
  • Cancellation: you may cancel anytime via the Stripe customer portal ("Manage subscription"). Your access continues until the end of the current paid period.
  • No refunds: payments are non-refundable, including for partial periods; cancelling stops future renewals only.
  • Price changes: we may change pricing with reasonable advance notice; changes apply to subsequent renewals.

5. Advertising & sponsorships

  • Sponsorship placements are reviewed before going live; we may reject, remove, or pause any placement at our discretion.
  • Placements are sold per slot and may be exclusive for the booked term; fees are paid upfront for the booked period.
  • You are solely responsible for your ad content and links and for ensuring they are lawful, accurate, and non-infringing.
  • We make no guarantee of impressions, clicks, conversions, or results. Reported metrics are estimates.
  • If we are unable to run an approved placement for reasons within our control, your sole remedy is a pro-rated credit or refund for the unrun portion, at our discretion.

6. Acceptable use

Do not misuse the Service, including: scraping at scale, attempting to break security or rate limits, submitting unlawful, infringing, hateful, or harassing content (including in leaderboard handles or ad copy), or impersonating others.

7. Intellectual property

The Service, its design, text, and branding are owned by Crisis Logic, LLC and protected by law. Simp Economy Exchange, $SIMP, $SPON, $GRND, CHAD-9000, Queen Diva, Zack Grindset, Samuel Simp, Paul Pragmatic, SIGMA-9000, and DIVA-9000 are properties of Crisis Logic, LLC. You retain rights to content you submit (e.g., sponsor logos) and grant us a license to display it as needed to provide the Service.

8. Third-party services

Payments are processed by Stripe and are subject to Stripe's terms. We are not responsible for third-party services.

9. Disclaimers

THE SERVICE IS PROVIDED "AS IS" AND "AS AVAILABLE" WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, ACCURACY, AND NON-INFRINGEMENT.

10. Limitation of liability

TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, Crisis Logic, LLC WILL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES, OR ANY LOSS OF PROFITS OR DATA. OUR TOTAL LIABILITY FOR ANY CLAIM WILL NOT EXCEED THE AMOUNTS YOU PAID US IN THE 12 MONTHS BEFORE THE CLAIM.

11. Indemnification

You agree to indemnify and hold Crisis Logic, LLC harmless from claims arising out of your content, your advertising, or your misuse of the Service.

12. Governing law

These Terms are governed by the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, United States, without regard to conflict-of-laws rules. Disputes will be resolved in the courts located there, unless applicable law requires otherwise.

13. Changes

We may update these Terms; the "Last updated" date will change. Continued use after changes means you accept the revised Terms.

14. Contact

Questions about these Terms: admin@simpx.exchange.

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